Chained Widows

Written by Ruhie Jamshaid • September 2011

Behind the songs that resonate from the temples of the holy city of Vrindavan, India, stand destitute widows who sing for a single bowl of rice and lentils, their only meal for the day. Many Indian widows, stigmatized and abandoned by society, make their way to this Holy City to sing devotional hymns to survive their ill-fate. The widows of India are shunned by society and abolished from a normal existence by virtue of the death of their spouses, something very much beyond their control. Though fate has dealt its cruel card, they receive little or nil compassion from society. Welcome to the horrifying world of Indian widows… almost 40 million of them… where tales of hunger, mental, physical and sexual abuse abound.

The face of sorrow seen in the widowed community in India is replicated all over male-dominated South Asia. The shocking woes of these women, who have lost their husbands, are a shared common thread in the region. Over and over again, one hears stories of misery and ill-treatment, be it Nepal or Bangladesh. In Nepal for instance, widows are not allowed to remarry due to outdated Hindu customs, even if they are young and desire remarriage. Women who have lost their husbands are blamed for their husband’s deaths and accused of being ill-fated or paying for the sins of their past lives. Strict, patriarchal laws are put in place to control these women, already suffering tremendous loss. Whatever their age, be it sixteen or sixty, they are not allowed to wear colorful clothes, their movement is restricted, their hair is chopped off and all forms of jewellery are disallowed. Many look upon a widow as unlucky and she is not allowed to show her face early in the morning to anyone or attend any auspicious occasions like marriages for fear of passing her bad luck to others. She is expected to mourn the death of her husband for life and live as a social outcast.

Mostly practical difficulties await widows in Sri Lanka, a country that is home to almost 200, 000 widows. These widows have lost their spouses to war or to natural disasters like tsunamis. In a male-led society like Sri Lanka, the loss of one’s husband means facing a lot of hurdles in daily life. The women who have gotten accustomed to following their men have to now be the one to lead. They suddenly have to begin interacting with officials to get their work done and work themselves to support their children. Sometimes, many of them have to work for hours only to be paid pittance, with nil support from the government or society at large.

The complicated inheritance laws in many South Asian nations, that involve not just legal inheritance laws but also customary laws, also put widows in disfavor. In Nepal for instance, a woman needs to return all her inheritance to a male at the point of marriage. She can keep her inheritance only if she is single. This law automatically prevents a widow from any rights of inheritance of her husband’s property on virtue of her being a female. In countries like Afghanistan and Pakistan, though Muslim law dictates that a widow inherits one-fourth of her husband’s property if she is childless and one-eighth if she has children, customary laws that serve the interests of males pass on the property of the deceased to male heirs, using culture and tradition as an excuse. For instance, the dowry and wedding expenses of the woman are often considered a part of her inheritance, leaving a widow with nothing more on the death of her spouse. In India, too, male heirs overtake the property of the deceased, leaving the widow in a financial lurch. Helpless widows are often forced to sign property documents by their male relatives. Hence, in addition to losing her life partner, most widows are destined to live a life of poverty, dependence and destitution.

With the current customary and traditional state of affairs, a widow in South Asia is fated for emotional, physical and financial upheaval, instead of being supported and helped by society. However, a conscientious effort is being made to reinstate the rights of widows in South Asia though a lot still needs to be done to give widows their rights. In India for example, the Widow Remarriage Act was introduced in 1885, to allow widows to marry, without having to give up their inheritance from their late husbands. Inheritance laws have also been modified to include equal distribution of wealth and property of the deceased between his widow, sons and daughters enabling a widow to become somewhat self-sufficient, although in many cases, traditions and customs often take these rights away from the widow.

In Nepal, there are already anti-discrimination laws in place to protect women. Those who discriminate against women can be severely punished by the defamation act. However, many women are ignorant of this law and awareness is little. Others are afraid to speak up for their right to be treated humanely. But Women for Human Rights, a local NGO working for rights of single women, is working hard to change social mindsets in Nepal so that widows whose lives are marred by traditional Hindu customs, can live life with dignity.

On the International scene, too, widows have the Empowering Widows in Development (EWD), an international advocacy organization, to fight for their rights and empowerment. This nongovernmental international organization is focusing on the plight of millions of widows in Afghanistan. An offshoot of EWD, Widows For Peace and Reconstruction, was set up in August, 2001 to represent the special needs of war widows and to ensure that their voices are heard in post-conflict peace building.

UN Women has also launched a three-year program to investigate the ostracism faced by widows in Nepal, India and Sri Lanka and to implement solutions to their social stigmatization. The organization seeks to move the widow up on the economic ladder with means to self sufficiency through work. Work is also ongoing in the local community to change mindsets and to encourage governments to implement more financial schemes to enhance the lives of widows.

Baby steps are already being taken to help improve the lives of widows in South Asia but more work needs to be done to bring about a revolution in order to totally eradicate deeply discriminatory behavior towards them. Further economic empowerment of widows needs to take place, stronger reinforcements of laws in favor of their rights need to happen and most importantly, mindsets have to be overhauled to enable widows to lead normal lives, instead of having to bear the brunt for their spouse’s demise for the rest of their lives. Death, after all, is a natural progression of life and these women, who already face sorrow, need to be supported to move on to live successful lives.