The Girl Ritual


Written by Manam Iqbal • Features • January 2010

Nepal offers stunning physical beauty and an equally colourful diorama of cultures to visiting tourists.The Newari community which constitutes a mere 5.4% of the total Nepalese population has a superbly vibrant, colourful and rich culture with religious and social festivities dotting most part of the year. The customs of the Newars encompass all divisions of religion as same traditions are followed by both Hindu Newaris as well as their Buddhists counterparts. For hundreds of years, Nepal has been home to people from diverse backgrounds and various ethnicities, which has created a mix of traditions, both archaic and modern in form and practice.

One of the most significant occasions celebrated by every household in the Newar community is the marriage ceremony of young girls called "Ihi" or "Bel Bibah" where the child is joined in matrimony to the Bel fruit of the wood-apple tree. The fruit itself is considered holy as it is believed to be an incarnation of Lord Shiva according to Vedic and Shramana scriptures.

This is a strictly observed religious as well as social event and every girl's family follows it. The marriage usually takes place at the odd ages of 5, 7 or 9 and is a purification process carried out before the onset of puberty. It is usually a two-day ritual in which the main event is the "Kanyadaan" which literally means "giving away of the virgin" to the immortal Lord.

The rites are believed to be a shield to ward off evil spirits but in reality, the importance of Ihi lies in saving the girl from the stigma of widowhood. Even when the girl is married to a male later, the possible death of her husband does not make her a widow as she is the wife of the Lord till eternity. In this way, the Hindu custom of the widow being burned in her dead husband's pyre has also been evaded for centuries by the Newaris.
After the Ihi, the second part of the holy ritual takes place as the lass enters her youth. The girl is kept in confinement for 12 days, separated from all members of the family and hidden from the sun. During this time, the Thakali Naki serves the girl, who is the only source of contact between her and her kin. On the twelfth day, the girl pays homage to the Sun God which is called Surya Darshan.

The practice of wedding the girl to the gods is not very ancient; it dates back to the 1700s. However, there are rumours that the tradition has evolved. It is said that during the Rana Dynasty, families did not consider their girls to be safe under the lusty eyes of the king's men, while married women were looked upon with respect. The families took a mutual decision to marry the young girls to the gods. Marrying the fruit saved the Newaris from deep mental trauma because and the practice is still prevalent in their society.

In today's world of levelling social customs through globalisation, the Newaris are still alive to their ancestral roots, which distinguish them from other communities in the country. The vivid and colourful display of cultures embedded in the Newari community in particular and the Nepalese nation in general, is one of the biggest reasons for the country's thriving tourism industry, besides, of course, the valley's beauty.